how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
