I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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