he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
