I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i love accidental penises.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
