summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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