its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
