turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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