You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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