; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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