plz talk dirty to me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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