How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
