evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
