the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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