so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
