how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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