dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
