i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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