On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
