Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
