I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
