where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
