My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
