We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
