im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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