don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
