i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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