i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
