I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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