We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
