Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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