Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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