If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
