sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
