You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
