I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
