just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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