sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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