32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
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I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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