i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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