My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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