who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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