Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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