he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
