That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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