there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
