I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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