i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
