I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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