is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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