Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
