Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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