8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
