It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
