let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
