Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
