I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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