As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
