dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
