matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Randomize
